What happens to your body when you are kissing

A hot make-out sesh—especially with a new love interest—can enliven just about every part of you.

BY LAURA BEIL

Face and Mouth
Oddly, it all starts with a tilt to the right. Eighty percent of people angle their head that way when going in for a kiss.

You make contact and. . .sensory explosion! Lips are up to 200 times more sensitive than supersensitive fingertips.

Meanwhile, your nose is buried in his scent, which may be emitting subtle chemical attractants that could intensify your arousal.

A quick peck uses a couple of muscles, but kissing passionately engages some 24 facial muscles—plus 100 others in the body. (A fierce make-out might slay up to 100 calories.)

Your salivary glands begin their own workout, pumping out extra spit. During a real tongue twist, about nine milliliters of your saliva finds its way into his mouth (and vice versa). The gross news: That juice is teeming with as many as 1 billion bacteria. The better news: 95 percent of those are harmless.

Blood Flow
If you're really into this dude, the kiss sends shock waves throughout your body that can increase blood flow to certain areas. Think stiffened nipples, fluttery stomach, tingling genitals.

Adrenal Glands
Sensing the hubbub, the adrenal glands unleash adrenaline. Cue a pounding heart, heavy breathing, or sweaty palms. (If you two become a couple, kissing could eventually trigger an opposite effect—peace instead of passion.)

Brain
The physical thrill may prompt your brain to cue up dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure. At the same time, other parts of your brain are shutting down negative emotions.

Your lip locking may also have prompted your pituitary gland (and his) to release oxytocin, the "bonding hormone." You two might already be forming an emotional attachment.

Mood
Any kind of make-out can reduce tension and hike happiness. Duos who kiss frequently are more likely to have long, satisfying relationships.

Sources: Justin R. Garcia, Ph.D., The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University; Marc Liechtung, D.M.D., Manhattan Dental Arts; Joseph Alpert, M.D., University of Arizona College of Medicine; Sheril Kirshenbaum, The Science of Kissing

Relationship Lessons to Overcome Breakup Blues

by Theresa Ho

My heart has been broken many times. The toughest ones to get over were my first love and the ones who I've vested a lot of time and energy in. You know, the ones where your heart ached when it was over and it felt like something was loss or missing in your life because they were part of your every day life and now you no longer see or hear from them anymore.

It's hard to adjust to the new found space or emptiness (depending on how you want to look at it). I used to see it as the latter, and would feel sorry for myself for messing things up. I'd think life is so unfair, what a bastard for ruining my life!

But then as I started my self-love journey, I started to appreciate my past relationships and the lessons that came with it.

Here are the lessons I've come to appreciate about break ups.

1. When a relationship ends, it is complete.

Instead of seeing the relationship as a breakup, see it as a 'purpose', that you were supposed to serve in each other's life.

Much like a job that has run its course, you and your partner are no longer a good fit. You both have tried everything to make it work, but for some reason, life is taking you both down different paths. You can no longer fulfill each other's needs completely. It's not a reflection on either person. Sometimes it is what it is, and for the growth and well-being of you and your partner it is time to, consciously uncouple' (to borrow Gwyneth Paltrow's famous saying) because you both deserve better.

There's a famous poem (see below) that many people refer to that talks about how 'people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime.' It explains why people come and go in our lives, and it really helped me put this concept of seeing a relationship as complete into perspective.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. —Author Unknown

2. "It's not you, it's me" is a cliche but true.

As much as I don't want to use this line because it's so cliché and I hate it when people use it on me, it's true more often than not.

For me, I usually use it at the start of relationships when I'm just getting to know someone. As soon as I know I have no romantic interest in the person I use it if the other side is not getting my subtle cues. I'd much rather deal with the 'break up' early on when there is hardly (if any) attachment than to be in a relationship.

Whenever I use the line, I mean it in the most sincere way. It is me who doesn't see us as good fit. It is me who respects you for who you are and not wanting to change your values so that you can be a better fit for me. More importantly, I respect myself to not want to change who I am.

I want someone who naturally loves my perfectly imperfect self, where my imperfectness is something my partner is willing to accept, and vice versa.

Now sometimes, there are instances where you or your partner may have fallen out of love. You can't really explain it, or pinpoint when or how it happened. But somewhere along the journey, the connection you used to have is gone. So you use this line when you break up. And it's true. It's not you; it's me. I have lost the intensity of love I had for you. I still love you, but I don't 'LOVE' You. Love can come in different forms and what I'm talking about here is losing the unconditional, romantic type of love.

This is the toughest of all because it's a hard truth to swallow. I remember when an ex whom I was in a serious relationship with used this line on me, I didn't get it! What did I do wrong? How can I fix this? Can we not talk about it? Can you not just give our relationships a few more months to work this out.? I promise I'll change.

For a long time, I was stuck blaming myself and was gutted to have my heart broken, and hated him for sticking to his decision. However, looking back now I appreciate and respect him for breaking up with me when he no longer could give me the love I deserved.

Why?

Because I would rather be in a relationship with someone who is happy to show up and give me the love I deserve than be in a relationship with someone who is checked out in every sense.

Wouldn't you?

You are worthy and deserve being loved to the Fullest.

"The way you treat yourself sets the standards for others" —Sonya Friedman

Our time is precious, so honour your feelings. Let go of those who you are unable to love you to the fullest. Spend it with those who are eager to give you love and with those who you are eager to do the same.

3. "Relationships are about two individuals who maintain their own lives and create another one together." —Unknown

It took me a few relationships to figure this one out. When I first started dating and entering 'relationships', I did it to feel complete. I felt like the people whom I've dated helped fill a void in my life. I ended up living their way of life and embodying everything they did, and tried to replicate myself to be more like my other half so that I will be more loved. Along the way, I lost my own interest and lost touch with some friends, as I relied on my exes at the time to be my everything. Yikes right?

Needless to say, this was not healthy for either of us. I certainly wouldn't want to take on such a responsibility where someone's happiness is dependent on me 24/7. I have learned that to keep the relationship fresh and to continue to bring the best out of each other, it's important to have a healthy balance where we have our own space and time to explore our own interests and create our own lives, knowing we have each other as well.

4. Remember the good times.

With every relationship, there are good and bad times. It may be counterintuitive to think about the good times when you first break up, as it is much easier to think about the bad times.

However, if you are the type of person who is motivated by pleasure, think about the good times you've had, and think about how you can experience that again in a new relationship and make it even better. The probability of you being able to create a better relationship is as good as any, perhaps even better when you've learned your lesson.

If you are someone who is motivated by pain to get over things, then think about the bad times and how it is so much better now that you no longer have he/she in your life.

These are the lessons and perspectives I've come to appreciate after a break up that has helped me to get over the relationship changes in my life. I hope will help you overcome the breakup blues:

What lessons have you learned that has helped you get over a relationship?

---

Theresa Ho, Life Coach, Blogger and the Founder of Rejuvenate Your Essence

Theresa Ho is the founder of Rejuvenate Your Essence.  She is a life coach and a blogger who believes life is too short to live your life based on other people’s expectations. She is dedicated to empowering others to be their best self, do what they love and live their best lives. Theresa also wants to create a community where people can inspire others to live life on their own terms. Theresa loves traveling, dancing up a storm and practicing yoga.

Here are the 7 of the most common expectations that destroy relationships.

These expectations about having a better relationship are usually what can lead to the demise of the relationship. Get rid of these 7 expectations to avoid destroying your relationship.

1. We are defined by what we have

Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship between you and your partner. You are defined by the connection and support between the two of you and not by what you can physically acquire. Many couples put on a facade that their relationship is great by showing the world a lot of “stuff.”

Love can easily be enhanced by spending time enjoying simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.

Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.

2.  Love means fixing your partner

When you met your partner, there were probably many special things about him or her that you liked and admired. Acceptance of the whole person is critical for a relationship to last. Attempting to change someone never works!

3.  I am supposed to give up the things I like

Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself and it won’t work. You do not need to give up things you enjoy doing in order to make your relationship better. Sure there may be times when you have to make sacrifices in certain situations, but overall, remain true to who you are. Do the things you love to do. A relationship should not rob you of your uniqueness and creativity.

4.  I have to love everything about my partner

From the moment we were each born, we learned behaviors from our parents, teacher, coaches, church and the rest of the world. The problem is, no one is perfect.  We all come with various flaws and quirks. Your partner does and you do too! Our behaviors are merely that.  Just behaviors.  Sometimes it can change, sometimes it’s just a habit and sometimes it is a behavior that is there to stay. For example, it irritates you when your partner leaves the toilet seat up. Take note that this is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. When we start to consider all of a person’s behaviors the essence of who they are, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict that can’t be fixed.

5.  It is only about what I say

Love is just as much about what you say as what you do. Saying “I love you” is a great thing to do but showing love is also required. Everyone speaks a different love language.  See The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts for a great book about how you can best show your love to your partner.

6.  I will be rescued by a knight in shining armor

People are made to love and honor one another but not rescue one another. You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. Many little girls do. It is a fantasy that is perpetuated throughout society. Your responsibility, however, in creating a better relationship, is to bring your whole self to the table. Some days you will provide support and other days your partner will provide support to you. You will each get a chance to help each other because you love each other. It goes both ways and different times.

7.  I don’t have to work at my relationship

As a child, you learned to crawl before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences. These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.

At your job, you likely have to learn new things. If you are a parent, you are constantly learning new and better ways to interact with your children. The learning and the work never stops! A relationship always takes work. It’s just the way it is.

Summary:

1. Your partner’s behavior in a better relationship is not your partner’s true essence.

2. You can’t “fix” your partner.

3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is not required.

4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.

5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although those things can be important to a certain extent) but the simple things in life.

6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.

7. Relationships will always take work!

Long hot showers.

A long, hot shower after a tiring day is very relaxing. But unfortunately, the heat can cause many skin problems, including wrinkles. Hot water strips the skin of its natural oils that work as a protective barrier. Without this natural protection, the skin becomes more prone to premature aging.

The best solution is to enjoy lukewarm showers. This will help lock in moisture and is good for your hair, too.

Be sure to step out of the shower when your skin starts to turn red and become itchy.

KDF is involved in Sh41billion illegal sugar, charcoal trade with al Shabaab - report

Sacks of charcoal are seen by the roadside as a Kenyan Contingent convoy serving with the African Union Mission in Somalia (Amisom) makes its way through the city of Kismayu in this October 2, 2012 handout photograph released by the African Union-United Nations Information Support Team. Photo/REUTERS

The KDF is involved in a $400 million (Sh41 billion) sugar and charcoal smuggling business that funds al Shabaab militants in Somalia, a report has found.

Referring to loaders, traders and intelligence, the report released on Thursday stated about 150,000 tonnes of illicit sugar are ferried into Kenya through Kismayo every year.

"Workers at the Port in Kismayo said around 230 trucks of 14 tonnes each leave Kismayo for Kenya, around 3,000 tonnes a week," the report read.

Key military officials involved earn Sh5 billion annually from the trade, said the report that further implicated unnamed key figures in the Defense ministry, the Immigration department and State House.

"The network enjoys the protection and tacit cooperation of leaders at the highest echelons of the Executive and the National Assembly," it stated.

"Parliament and foreign embassies all described a situation in which a high ranking military official is at the head of a smuggling network which includes commanders of KDF forces within Amisom."

The report dubbed 'Black and white: Kenya's criminal racket in Somalia' also revealed the charcoal is exported in a business that though "somewhat disrupted and diminished, is still a mainstay of revenue for al Shabaab, Jubaland  and KDF."

It noted that the port tax for exported charcoal, split among the Jubaland administration of Ahmed Madobe, KDF and al Shabaab is about $3 (Sh306) a bag.

The report by the Journalists for Justice rights group in Nairobi further accused Kenyan troops of "widespread human rights abuses", including wrongly targeted air strikes, torture, abduction and rape.

"The consistent pattern that emerged was of airstrikes targeting crowds of people and animals. The majority of victims seem to be herders and their livestock. Many complained of water points being destroyed," it read.

"Contrary to government claims of al Shabaab targets destroyed, dozens of victims recounted the targeting of civilian villages, water-points and livestock."

On Thursday, Kenyan security forces reported they had destroyed five camps used by suspected al Shabaab militants in a sweep at Boni Forest.

The army and police launched the operation two months ago in the forest close to the Somali border, to flush out militants it believed were using the area to launch strikes.

Head of the operation, James Serian, told Reuters the hideouts were destroyed and weapons handed to the government, adding suspects were due to appear in court.

The report further stated that there has been no accountability for the civilian casualties in Kenya's shelling of Kismayo before the KDF took over.

"Apart from fighting the militants the KDF are in garrison mode, sitting in bases while senior commanders are engaged in corrupt business," it stated.

The report followed interviews "with more than 50 people with "intimate knowledge" of KDF activities, the group said.

Participants were drawn from Kenya and Somalia and included officers, United Nations officials, Western intelligence sources, sugar traders, porters and drivers. 

A government spokesman called the report "absolute garbage" and said it undermined Kenya's effort to stabilise Somalia, a nation ravaged by more than two decades of war and chaos.

"What we are seeing is intellectual dishonesty masquerading as research," the spokesman told Reuters of the report.

KDF Spokesman David Obonyo also dismissed the report, saying: "It is not correct and it is not factual."

On October 26, the United Nations once again accused Kenya of aiding a flourishing illicit sugar trade at the port of Kismayu in Somalia.

A report by the UN Monitoring Group for Somalia and Eritrea said the trade is worth more than $800,000 (Sh81.8 million) annually.

The report says this provides a financial lifeline and source of revenue for al Shabaab terror group and Somalia-based warlords.

Cord leader Raila Odinga had claimed KDF soldiers smuggle most of the sugar in shops into Kenya through the Port of Kismayo, following reports of a purported sugar deal between Kenya and Uganda.

- See more at: http://www.the-star.co.ke/news/kdf-sh41-billion-illegal-sugar-charcoal-trade-al-shabaab-report#sthash.qiuddF2C.r9x0HuSe.dpuf

Deadly Effects Of Having Too Much Sex

By Charles Ayitey

Whenever the word ”sex” is mentioned, many of us draw closer attention – not just because it is a word we need to hear but rather,  a word we are actively used to as adults. In fact, most of us cannot ”feel the wilds of life” without a sensual taste of sex with our partners. Many of us have sex for various reasons best known to us…for kids, to release stress or just for the fun of it. Well, while scientists have proved that sex can decrease anxiety and improve our moods, sex can also be unhealthy if it interferes with your day to day life.

Let us read of 6 major health problems that can be related with the effect of having too much sex.

1. Dehydration

Scientists have proven that too much sex ( 5 to 10 times a week) could make you become dehydrated – this means that your body loses so much vital water that could end up making you look pale. This is especially so if you have been taking alcohol before or while the sex. Though harmless, this is the most common effect of too much sex.

2. Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)

Having too much sex especially with different partners can expose both women and men to Urinary Tract Infections, a kind of condition which affects the bladder. To avoid contracting a UTI, you should take plenty of water and make sure to empty the bladder before and after sex.

3. Trouble Climaxing

Men are often unable to climax after having too much sex in a short period of time. This is because you have exhausted or considerably ’emptied’ the sperm and semen levels.

4. Poor Vision

While this might seem strange, scientists have concluded that too much sex could get you lose your sight. This happens when blood vessels in the eyes pop during sexual activity. You need not worry too much if this happens to you as it will heal and become normal with time.

5. Hair Loss

Sexual intercourse increases the levels of Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) in the body. This hormone, in turn, leads to hair loss as DHT is known to kill hair follicles and cause male pattern baldness. So those of us males having issues with baldness, we may want to go back and check our sex history.

6. Heart Attack

The last and most scary effect of having too much sex is that you could be on your way to suffering from a heart attack. While sex can be good for your heart as it is a cardiovascular activity like some others, you should do it with cautions if you have a history of heart problems as constant palpitations and gasps for breath (considering the roughness of sexual activity) could land you on the hospital stretcher!

CREDIT – newhealthadvisor.co

Yen.com.gh news

What Nairobi women think of men and their tribes

Two weeks ago, The Nairobian, ran an article on what typical tribal Nairobians think about their women.

Today, women respond by revealing what tribal stereotypes say about Nairobi men, which may or may not influence their choice of the future father of their children, anyway. While some of these perceptions might not exactly be gospel truth, others are right on the money; literally.

1. Taita men: The Taita have some of the best, poetically speaking, which is really good when it comes to ‘tuning’ a woman. Women adore the Mwandawiros and Mwang’ombes believing ‘Kiswahili yao ni mambo yote’ and are thus in demand from Kaptagat to Kaloleni. They are not only light-skinned and calm, but also collected when making decisions. They are most women’s dream.

Positive: The Wadawidas are very romantic and know how to tune (sweet talk) women. Even better than the Omondis. Most Taita men are also irresistible lookers.

Negative: Most eat small food rations and are thus ‘pin weights.’ They are “Yes” men, conformist bootlickers who are easily controlled by those in authority. They are ridiculously loyal. Ever wondered why Kibaki and Kenyatta chose Taita men as their aide-de-camp? They love sex and booze (which makes them behave like they are high on cheap Oriental herbs). Taita men are also vulgar and uncouth, spewing unprintables; embarrassing you in front of your girlfriends, when provoked.

2. Luo: ‘Jatelos’ are said to be romantic and extravagant to a fault. They will take you shopping to Dubai and dine you in posh restaurants till the next light skinned interested lass emerges. Image is everything for our Lakeside brothers. Calvin Aristotle Onassis Omondi-McOgego would rather burn quid on a Mercedes without qualms, parking it outside a grass thatched hut in Akala village!

Positive: They are the best players, and not necessarily for Gor Mahia. Not that it is something to clap home about, but if Omondi-McOgego cheats with an ‘arrangement’ you may never know as they hardly give you a reason to. They know how to treat ‘my woman’. They must have gone to the same school with the most sought after men in Africa, the Nigerians!

Negative: Calvin Aristotle Onassis Omondi-McOgego thinks of investing back home in Akala village, but fears chira... being bewitched. They are always whining, complaining and ‘fighting’ for fairness/equitable distribution of resources. Meet ten Omondi-McOgegos in a ‘Luo pub’ with loud Lingala and Ohangla music and each has 20 beers waiting for action while discussing Raila’s chances in the 2017 general elections. They also do not believe in dialogue and would rather ‘throw stone missiles’ to express disappointment, and not necessarily when Gor Mahia loses a match. Omondi-McOgego can be proud even when he has ‘nothing.’ In fact, the Omondis can live beyond their means in Nairobi, showing off, only to retire stranded in the finance department!

3. Maasai: How did the ‘Ndawuos’ and ‘Njores’ make it to number three? See, the thought of a man who kills lions with his bare hands is quite attractive away from the stereotyped ‘charcoal vendors’ clutching a spear in one hand with his red cloth wrapped around his waist or over his shoulders. Foreigners mythically believe the Maasai have a sexually potent ‘Long John Silver!’

Positive: A well groomed Maasai is very handsome. Most get   NGO scholarships abroad so that they can develop their home areas. And they do!  I mean, look at former Narok County governor aspirant, Ledama Ole Kina from Oloombokishi village!

Negative: Stay away lady for sure you will be played. Yes! They are very ruthless womanisers especially the moneyed and good looking. The worst bit about Sempeles is that they will use and leave you as soon as the next beautiful skirt wearer comes their way. The illiterate are hell to deal with and understand.

4. Kalenjin: Ears alert gold diggers, the Kip-somethings have cash. And just like Simiyus, the ‘Cheps’ only live in Nairobi to earn a living. He has a 1,300cc jalopy in Kericho, where his small farm is. Believes Kikuyus are thieves. Drinks beer/choma alone or with the ‘boys from home’ while peppering talk in mother tongue.

Positive: Save for financial stability Kalenjin men are said to be brave, strong, even-tempered and peaceful among themselves, trustworthy, sexually strict, and never neglect their culture.

Negative: They are chauvinists. They believe offering a good house and financial stability for the family is everything but ladies want to be loved and satisfied in ‘other ways’ too. Though they love the mama and totos they tend to have side dishes. They are stingy to their wives. To them, a woman and kids are the same.

5. Luhya: Most gate ‘soldiers’ in Nairobi are Shirandulas. How they manage to attract more than three wives; two in Emanyulia, Kakamega, and a ‘nyumba ndogo’ in Nairobi’s seedy Kawangware  is a mystery social scientists are still working on. Luhya men are ambitious though. Even a 40-year old Omundu strong watchman still hopes to steal his employer’s job before Vision 2030. And a promotion will surely ease the burden of bringing up families besides moving houses from Kawangware!

Positive: Depending on your libido, make sure your bed is strong enough to accommodate these bedroom bullies who according to testimonials, hardly run out of tea and chicken powered steam.  Luhyas do not like leaving evidence around so do not worry about child support when he leaves you. Luhyas are the real Africans. He will always come bearing gifts from shagz; mkarango, ingokho, guavas and sugarcane!

Negative: Always dancing to Rhumba as they discuss their amazement of the Kikuyu fiscal success story. They also love going shagz every other weekend. They eat too much Jimbi. They are very traditional with a grinding domestic mindset...if the wife threatens to run away, they slaughter everyone before unsuccessfully trying to commit suicide!

6. Kikuyu: Their ambitious and hard-working nature dates back to the era of Chief Wang’ombe whose clansmen looted Arab caravans passing through Central Kenya at the turn of the 19th Century. For that reason the Kamandes and Kariukis walk, eat and dream of kamugunda (shamba), matatus and company shares. In fact, they are often too busy minting mullah to invest in another ‘Nguno’ the cow at his kamugunda. They may even neglect Mama Gacheri, the long-suffering wife. To a Kikuyu, a woman is a social trophy during drinking sprees where discussions are pegged on how to import speed governors, and mouse for the Laptop Project for schools. These hustlers from the House of Mumbi can also trim the edges of honesty when opportunity presents itself.

Positive: They are hardworking, but every single cent must be accounted for in their mean budgetary systems. Kamande is therefore the ideal hubby for the industrious woman. Kikuyu men make the best ancestors due to that not so small matter of Old Money from a grandpa who had big financial dreams!

Negative: A typical Kikuyu man’s luxury car is a pick-up, double cabin, and he believes in relaxing in Kanyenya-ini village weeding the shamba and milking ‘Nguno’ the cow - not frolicking on the beach in Mombasa. For this reason, women think the Kamandes are unromantic and unadventurous. Their perfect date is dancing to Mugithi at Jambo Bar&Grill while tearing at roast goat ribs! If you are thinking of assuming the mother-in-law, steer clear of Kamande. Kikuyu men are mama’s boys. So the way to his heart, is through his mother. They are also said to be wanting in the fashion department and the uncultured can be very crude. A must-have in every Kikuyu man’s wardrobe include; Savco and 1.5 Freezer jeans preferably brown, Chicago Bulls T-shirts, an over- sized Kenyatta leather jacket and a ‘Godpapa’ hat whether fake or original. While drinking, a typical Kikuyu will keep squinting at the bill every two minutes!

7. Kamba: They are said to have sexual athleticism that makes them very liberal in bedroom matters. They are also known to sing loudly while drinking as they talk about sex and argue who is better between Ken Wa Maria and Kativui. All this happens in a club in Mlolongo after a good sale of second hand tyres.

Positive: They are very submissive and will do anything just to keep you around. Don’t believe this? Try calling Nzomo, your ‘Kao’ buddy from a bar at some devil hour. He will come running as his girlfriend remains behind dancing to Beyonce’s Single ladies!

Negative: ‘Wakanesas’ are cowards and easily used even if they do not get anything in return. They are also ‘watermelons’ who hardly make firm individual decisions. When drank, a ‘Kao’ can start pulling an ‘Afro Sinema’ skit!

8. Meru:’Vaite Murumes’ ego surpasses reality. It is taboo for Murume to enter the kitchen. One got sacked when a woman was promoted and Mithika was the tea boy... who could not serve a woman boss. A proper Kinoti would rather starve to death than cook. These hot tempered men do not take disappointment kindly. They are famed for either killing or breaking down in tears like a baby after rejection.

Positive: They are not only hardworking but also the best time keepers in Kenya. Ever wondered why there is always a Probox accident along the Nairobi-Thika superhighway. Well, that’s because they were probably racing   Miraa to the airport in time. For them, time and money go hand in glove.

Negative: Murume has a temper that can distill chang’aa or boil porridge. When provoked, he will very easily turn you into minced meat. Attending Washington State University does not count as the accent picked from Muringene-Kutus (and not necessarily when picking miraa) remains. They have an attitude problem. They take everything personally. They are also bossy in a relationship with Mwari.

9. Kisii: Just like their Meru brothers, the Mogakas are hot tempered. They prefer marrying Kwamboka, Kerubo and Kemunto because; they believe women from other communities lack morals. Momanyis, Makoris and Mairuras are also clingy and hopeless in love and do not know how to let go!

Positive: When Momanyi falls in love with a woman he gives it his best. When you break up Momanyi will still pursue you for months, which is an ego boost for the typical Nairobi woman.

Negative: These guys are rude, arrogant and treat women like children. They are also nagging and tend to speak in shrill sopranos when angry. They also do not know when to stop talking. They are too traditional, patriarchal and can shamelessly ask a woman for sex after spending a Sh100 on her!

10. Turkana: They rarely marry outside their community. Even the few who are educated in Nairobi still talk about marrying Msichana wa nyumbani.

Positive: Once a Turkana man tastes the benefits of education he will ensure everyone around him understands. He is not only an asset to you and your children but the community as a whole.

Negative: These men are shady. They sport navy blue three buttoned suits, which they believe matches with ‘Nairobi blue’ shirts and red ties. Truth be told, these brothers are tall, dark but nothing to talk home about in the looks department!

These 10 Qualities You Should Never Let Her Go

When it comes to the one a woman loves, she will leave her comfort zone without question to make him happy, and take care of little things for him. Many women are givers, this is one way to show their love and care. If you know a woman who is ready to put effort into your happiness, don’t ever let her go, she is priceless.

A good woman may be hard to find, but they do exist. If you find a woman with the following qualities never let her go because she is the right one for you, who can change your life:

• She frequently does little things for you

It’s important for men to consistently be romantic and caring towards their women always, not just in the beginning of the relationship. You may be taken for granted for your giving behavior but the woman who values your love is the right one.

If she is willing to go the extra mile and do small things for you out of love without any expectations, it’s a great sign that she’s a keeper.

• The one who is smarter than you

A guy needs a woman who is smart enough to set things right in his disorganized life. She can make your life meaningful and help keep you from bad decisions. They are right when they say that behind every successful man there is a strong woman.

• The one who makes you want to be better

When Ms. Right walks into your life you may start paying more attention to it, you want to do better and excel in every field. Suddenly you start paying attention to your looks. She ignites the fire within you to do something big. Hold onto her and do wonders in your life.

• The one who tells you when you are wrong

Every man needs someone who will tell him, nicely, when he is wrong. There is an innate quality in many to make poor decisions. Being with a woman who keeps you on the right path and tells you when you are wrong is the best decision you can make.

• The one who is kind and nurturing

A kind woman is a good woman. Anyone who is not kind is not worth it. Being a nurturer is an excellent quality. If you want to have children, or if you already do, look for a mate who also wants children.

• The one who helps you find your happy

Being happy is important, and while happiness lies within us, there are people who make it harder to be happy around them. Happiness is something you feel, you should not have to make a huge effort to achieve it. Celebrate the little moments together, survive the bad times together, support each other, and you will feel good about being with her.

• One who is vivacious

Life can get boring at times, but if you have a partner who is vivacious, energetic, adventurous, and full of life, she can help turn dull moments into lively ones.

• One who can compromise

We are all stubborn in our own way, we want things to go our way, some of us do not easily adapt to change and get anxious trying to control outcomes. Relationships, however, require compromise. If she is ready to compromise with you then she is worth it.

• One who is strong and passionate

She may be the one for you if she is a combination of strength, passion, and femininity. A life without passion can be dull. If you believe she is passionate about you and has the strength to walk by your side then make her your life partner and never leave.

• The one who loves you

Last but not the least, the basic essential of a happy life is a loving partner. The one who will care for you and respect those who are important to you will always make you proud. If your girl is completely in love with you, good points and bad, don’t ever take her for granted. Let her know you love her too.

Honest Things Men Wish Women Knew About Making Love

Ignorance is NOT bliss.

Sex is a learned skill. So, the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it, right? Wrong.

As the famous Vince Lombardi quote goes, “Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.” 

This universal truth is so important when it comes to sex, because it’s a topic that can sometimes be a sensitive subject between you and your partner. Your partner might be hesitant to ask for what they need in the bedroom because they’re worried about hurting your feelings.

As a result, you’re just further ingraining bad habits instead of correcting them. But luckily for you, I’m not invested in your feelings.

Here’s what you might need to hear about your performance in the bedroom, but aren’t

Spice up! Nothing’s worse than a partner who just lays there, seemingly disinterested. Show enthusiasm, be vocal, and move with the action. Otherwise, you’re just a slightly warmer blow-up doll.

Take control every now and then. The guy is generally expected to be the aggressor/dominant one in a sexual encounter. Turning this around on him is an exciting way to keep him on his toes and even help him out if he’s tired.

We don’t care if you’re not perfectly groomed. So, your legs are a little scruffy, you haven’t cleaned up down there, and you don’t smell like you just came out of a Bath & Body Works. Trust us, we’ll get over it. As long as you practice good, basic hygiene, it’s not imperative that you be pristine at all times. We’re realistic.

Don’t freak out if we don’t get off. There are so many factors that can cause this to happen, but it’s almost never because you’re not attractive enough or good enough in bed. There’s a cultural stereotype that all dudes love sex 100 percent of the time with anyone, always. Maybe we’re not in the mood, are stressed, lacking an emotional connection, or so many other things. Don’t beat yourself up.

Remember that communication is key. Don’t let us waste 5 minutes doing something that’s not working for anybody. Sex isn’t the time to be shy and polite. Tell us what’s working or what you need, and everyone will be happier.

… And so is listening. Don’t take it personally if we’re not feeling what you’re doing and ask to try something else. That thing your ex really loved may do nothing for us. Everybody’s different.

Don’t forget the romance. This is another symptom of the belief that guys are just cavemen looking to score. Romance, seduction, and the emotional aspects of sex work on us, too.

It’s totally possible for us to not be in the mood. With all that being said, sometimes there’s nothing you can do.

We need to know your kinks. Especially if they’re something physically aggressive. We’re not just going to jump out on a limb and guess whether you liked to be choked or if that’s going to get us sent to jail. If you want to get what you want, you have to ask for it.

Talk dirty. The sexiest move in the bedroom is enthusiasm, period.

Don’t always wait for us to initiate. Sex may not be on our mind until you put it there. If you’re in the mood, but he’s not acting, go for it.

Don’t do anything halfway, especially oral. If you could describe any act you’re partaking in as “dutiful” or “half-hearted,” then he’s not enjoying it.

Don’t worry, we love how you taste down there. Many women can be self-conscious about this, but I’ve never heard any man bringing it up as an issue.

We need foreplay, too. So much of the fun of sex is in the mind. A lot of it is about the buildup and anticipation. Just as you need foreplay to fully enjoy the experience, so do we.

We’re not trusting that you’re on birth control until we REALLY know you. Don’t take it personally. It’s a huge risk to take. We bear the brunt of the sacrifice in having to wear a condom anyway.

Condoms are going to make it take awhile. They’re desensitizing. If he’s taking too long, be prepared to finish things by other means. More foreplay can also help.

a lot of cardio. We could use a breather every now and then. It really helps when you go on top or otherwise take control for a spell.

We don’t care if you’re sweaty afterwards. Considering what we just did, don’t worry about it.

We’re super-sensitive after we finish. Particularly of concern after oral. Be gentle!

Remember to pee after sex.Somehow, some women still don’t know this. It's self cleans all impurities. UTIs are real, ladies!